Growing up was not always easy in my household. My parents divorced when I was ten, my brothers and I went back and forth between my parents but there was always a great deal of tension that the three of us could always see and feel. My parents both tried to mask their feelings for each other from my brothers and me but the tension was still there. I watched my dad struggle with the loss of his intact family unit and I watched my mom struggle to support three kids on a waitress’s salary. Even though they individually struggled they made it work. The stress and tension I could feel had me dousing my own feelings in food to help cure my own stress. Let’s just say a chubby me was not the answer to the problems.
I wasn’t the popular kid in school. I had a great small group of friends, But on the large scale people who I thought were my close friends teased me. I joined a competition cheerleading squad trying to fit in. On the up side I lost a lot of the "eating my feelings" weight I had gained, but it didn’t solve my “popularity” issue. When I finally made it to high school there were days I can remember driving home from school and stopping by the apple orchard just to cry so that no one would see and it would be out of my system before I got home. I transferred schools after my sophomore year to try and get a new start. I made it through and graduated and was sooooo READY to go to college.
I made it to college only to lose my first “serious” boyfriend because of the distance. I went right back to eating my feelings....Dominos Pizza delivered to my dorm room. The summer I got home after the breakup I took an internship at a local fish hatchery because becoming a marine biologist had been my dream since I was super tiny. During the course of my job I worked off the excess pounds with manual labor and my new found love of running.
Fast-forward through SEVEN years of off and on College I finally graduated from Shepherd University with a degree I thought I was interested in (Sociology and Criminal Justice) and a mile high pile of debt. During my last semester in College I got engaged, started to plan a wedding, got SUPER stressed out, called it off, graduated, and flew to Europe to teach English for a few months… all while carrying the weight I had gained after the ending of my engagement. Lets just say I didn’t put my degree in Criminal Justice to work. But I did LOVE every minute of Greece. I was happy, I was carefree, I would bike, walk, and hike everywhere, life was good. I finally thought things were turning around for me AND the weight was coming off again from all the exercise and clean foods that were available. But just like all good things I had had in my life this came to an end when there was a bombing near one of the schools I was about to teach at. I flew home to uncertainty without a job and with little to no money to my name.
I decided moving back to the beach would be the trick for me. I LOVE living by the beach, there is something so calming about it, PLUS it was only 7.5 hours from my new boyfriend who had promised to visit often. Well boys lie and the relationship ended almost as quickly as it had started but instead of eating my feelings this time I simply didn’t eat at all. I became super skinny, which got me tons of compliments but didn’t make me feel good inside. I was broken, I felt ugly, I had no muscle definition anymore, and I was emotionally drained.
I, because I had ZERO money and couldn’t keep a roof over my head, reluctantly moved back home… but I moved back in with my ex-fiancé who graciously said he’d share our former home until I got back on my feet. He got me a job where he was working and things were REALLY starting to turn around. My, then, ex and I seemed to pick back up right where we had left off before our prior engagement. We had dinners and movie dates, we made dinners at home together, we starting going back to church together and one night while watching a Disney movie (I LOVE Disney if you couldn't tell) he said “Hey, why don’t we get married, but this time lets do it our way and not tell anyone until the last possible minute”. Can I just say WOW, I thought this was a dream come true. No families to interject opinions on where we should marry, what colors to have, what type of dress to where, how many people could come, who should marry us… you know the drill. I of COURSE said YES! I LOVED him tremendously and couldn’t wait to get our secret wedding underway. Things were looking up!
We got married on New Years eve 2011, I was in a red wine colored floor length dress, he opted for a dress suit and a matching tie, and we did end up telling my family on Christmas (when and where if they wanted to come.. which of course they did :-D ). I was starting to feel like a whole new life was starting. But just when everything was going great I got promoted at work. YAAAY right?? Bigger salary, more responsibility, new title, the whole 9-yards. Well with that “wonderful” package came an almost 4 hour round trip commute into the major metropolitan area each day. The job was less than what had been described, the people I worked with were nothing to write home about, and I started to feel trapped because WHO in their RIGHT MIND would walk away from the “Big Girl” salary I was making just because they were unhappy. I had the “Go to school, Get a Degree, Find a Real job, Work until Retirement” mentality that I had so often been told was how “adults” operated. But the thing is I was MISERABLE, I would literally sneak out of the office on my lunch break to call my husband and just cry because I was so tired from the commute, drained from the crap I dealt with on the job, and I was starting to gain weight at an alarming rate. I was sneaking food into my cubicle to eat, I’d hide food in my car, I’d stop on my ride home and go through a drive thru for a “pre-dinner” snack… It was bad.
From the weight gain this time came unexplainable swelling, numbness, light-headedness, exhaustion, and I just felt like BLAH. I was in and out of the doctor’s office every week getting tested for this and that, just TRYING to figure out what was causing all these issue. I had taken this job to help better my family but really I was only making it worse being sick and never being mentally present.
I was chatting with a friend on my ride to work one morning and I was telling her about my latest doctor visit, she patiently listened while I went on and on with all the tests I had been through and when I was done she simply said “You got FAT, shut up and FIX IT!”. I was SHOCKED, seriously blown away by this brutal honesty that I think in the back of my mind I had already known but didn’t want to admit. I didn’t want to admit it because then I’d have to say I fell back into my normal patterns just like all my previous stressors.
Now don’t get me wrong, there were TONS of WONDERFUL family vacations to Sea World, Disney, Hershey Park, Other Amusement Parks, Museum, NYC, etc. There were certainly happy times throughout my growing up but when I think of my heath and fitness levels overall I can ACTUALLY pin point what happened that made me lose site of my goals. I’m sure, if you’ve made it this far (thanks for sticking around), you’re probably thinking “Waaaaa what a whiney baby, suck it up we’ve all got crap to deal with” and you are ABSOLUTELY right, We DO!
My friend’s words changed me from that day on. She helped me get back on my feet emotionally by putting me into a challenge group and got me started drinking Shakeology. This challenge group was a place where I worked out, made healthy meal choices, started drinking my shakeology, starting interacting with others who were in my position and wanted to change and you know what??? Things DID change! I lost almost 45 pounds in the first 60 days of working with her and subbing one meal a day for a shakeology. With my transformation she helped me sign up as a Coach so that I could start helping others do the same. She helped me fight for my life, she helped me take back control, she helped me put into action all the things I already knew how to do but wasn’t doing on my own, she helped me see that I have always been trying to make sure everyone else is cared for first and I come second. The thing is you can’t help someone else if you can’t help yourself. That’s truly what I hope you take away from this SUPER LONG story. If you take control of what you CAN control something magical happens and all of the other problems start to appear with solutions in tow.
Fitness has been a HUGE key player in my newfound success. It helps me distress, makes me feel confident in who I am, It helps me feel as though I can control different aspects of my life, and honestly I am a better version of ME! Not only did I gain a new respect for myself I learned that you NEED to be accountable, have passion, and STAY committed to achieve what you want most out of life.
My marriage didn’t last but my love for fitness has never waivered. I now live in Florida, 10ish minutes from the beach, I am a full time Beachbody Coach from the comfort of my sofa/bed/office/beach front, no more metropolitan city commutes, no more corporate life stress, AND I’ve been able to start chipping away at my mile high pile of debt from school and car and credit cards from the unhappy times. I am a new mommy to a BEAUTIFUL baby boy William and I intend to give him every opportunity in the world I can find possible! He is my sunshine, my smile, my reason to help others, he is the drive that keeps me healthy and fit, he encourages me daily to be the best person I can be. I couldn't be more excited with the direction my life is going and I am EXCITED for the future. Tell me he's not super adorable ;-) That smile tho... it's addicting!!!
Being able to reformat your mind and body only leads to the most successful and healthy version of you possible. I use to read other Coaches “Stories” and at the end they would always say how typing their stories would make them weepy, make them cry, make them tear up and I can honestly say I use to roll my eyes thinking “No way that made you tear up”. But as I am sitting here writing out my story for the world to read I find myself absolutely choked up with sadness and happiness. Sadness for those of you out there who are that girl in the story you just read above but Happiness knowing there IS a way out I PROMISE! Changing my mentality and my physicality has saved my life. I only go to the doctors now when I absolutely have to, we are chipping away at my debt, I have three AMAZINGLY loveable furkids, and a SUPER bright future ahead of me because I am relentless and refuse to give up! Just remember that if you take one goal at a time you CAN and WILL achieve anything through persistence.
If you have questions on how to get started I’d LOVE to hear from you! Click >> COACH << and register to get me as your FREE coach!
“Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – Walt Disney
“Around here, however, we don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors and doing new things, because we're curious...and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.” – Walt Disney
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